Seems I'm a bit:
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Seems I'm a bit:
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[2006-03-06] [%%title%%] |
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Links:
My Brethren Missed a Sermon?
Hey there lampost, how's it going? - 2006-05-22
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I haven't updated, I know. This might not be the reason, but i know it's part of it. we broke up And, even though i'm getting through it, it's hard. And for a few weeks now, this place has ceased to be a safe house. It's just another person i have to explain to, another individual to tell. I wasn't ready to tell you yet. I wasn't ready to make it funny yet. 8 years. Yes, for real. I'm okay. Well, it wasn't easy. I'll let you know if you can. I don't like that conversation much, so i have it as little as possible. Even though it was a little bit my decision, and even though it's not "goodbye forever" it's just "i need some space" (gag me, please, i am the biggest cliché), and even though we still talk sometimes, this is all so strange. It's not like i don't laugh, lately. I do. More than i thought i would. But i gasp more, too. It just catches you when you're not expecting it. I'm usually in control of what i want to think of and when so I'm just not used to it. It's the stupid things, really. Changing my myspace profile to read "single" instead of "in a relationship", not buying two tickets to the theatre ball, that kind of thing. Inconsequential but there, you know? So i've seen a lot of friends lately. This whole thing is a lot like getting your wisdom teeth taken out. Everyone has experienced it, everyone says it sucks to a certain degree and everyone will commiserate with you over it at the least provocation. So, yeah, i've been taking advantage of that a lot. The play I'm in is taking a lot of my energy and i'm kind of throwing myself into it. I don't know what the hell i'm going to do when it's over. it's taking more out of me than any role ever has and i am so fucking grateful for that. I want to pour myself into something and this is really good. Method acting be damned, i just want to act. Acting classes are taking some out of me too, which is good. The key is to keep busy. The key is to read a lot at night. The key is to stop your mind from wandering on bus rides. But this is March, now. And spring is punching through the snowbanks and the frozen ground. It's easier, i think, when change is all around you. It's nice to feel a part of something again.
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